The John Report: The Raw Deal for 06/21/10 (Sheamus/Cena)

Live from Bridgeport, CT this is the Raw Deal…

In case you missed it, I wrote about the results from Fatal 4Way exclusively on thejohnreport.net so check that out first before you read about tonight’s Raw. If you want. If not, let’s just get to Raw shall we?

Crazy Vince McMahon starts us off. He said it’s Bret Hart’s fault that all the bad things have happened lately. He said even though Bret was hurt he could have still shown up at the PPV last night. As a result of Bret’s poor decision making, he’s fired as GM. In his place was an anonymous GM who we would not see. Instead, they would update us via emails that Michael Cole would read aloud. In other words, “we have no idea who the GM should be. Let’s just act like we have one.” Works for me. The new WWE champ Sheamus comes out. He didn’t say fella enough, fella. Where’s your pride, fella? Don’t you know we need to fill our fella quotient, fella? Yes, I like the word fella. He says he didn’t want to win the belt in a cheap manner, threatens to give it up and then laughs saying he’s just joking. Out comes Cena. Cenation, blah blah blah he wants a rematch. Suddenly this email noise starts up, Cole reads it aloud and we find out all 7 NXT guys are hired. We also find out the main event would be Cena vs. Sheamus for the title. Then, just as they’re reacting to that, another message saying Vince McMahon will be the ref. It was a decent opening segment. I’m not sure how well the anonymous GM went over with the masses. For me, I’m cool with it. It’s not like it matters too much who is in charge. It’s just good to have somebody making announcements at various points in the show.

Chris Jericho d. Evan Bourne (***)
Yes! This is what I want to see on Raw every week. It’s what we get on Smackdown all the time, so why not Raw? This was a very competitive 11 minute TV match featuring a lot of good action, a hot crowd and two guys who know what they were doing. Pre-match Jericho said if he loses he’s leaving the show. I thought he was losing for sure, only to return in the future begging for his job. I’m glad I was wrong. Jericho came close to winning with the Walls of Jericho with Bourne looking like he’d tap out. Didn’t happen. Bourne kept fighting back. He’s got that fighting spirit quality about him that Rey Mysterio has too. That’s what the appeal is. They can really build him up with that if they so choose. Bourne went for the SSP and Jericho blocked it with the knees. That was awesome because it stunned Bourne, so Jericho got up and finished him with the Codebreaker (the knees to the face) for the win. I loved that finish. Post match, Jericho helped him up. Did he shake his hand? Hell no. He pie-faced him. That’s Jericho. That’s what he does. Best in the world, baby. I assume they’ll wrestle again, which is fine by me. More quality matches on Raw please!

Backstage, Vince talked on his phone to the anonymous GM saying he gave that person complete authority. He said he liked surprises, but they didn’t have to be at his expensive. He put on his ref shirt as the segment ended.

Backstage, Dibiase fired Virgil. Replaced him with Maryse, who should fit in fine as a gold digger. She’ll be tremendous in terms of generating heat for Dibiase, who needs the help. And holy shit, she looked gorgeous. Earlier in the day she referred to a PPV as a “paper view,” but should we really make fun of her? No. Just look at her. That’s enough for me. She’s not there for her brains.

Backstage, The Hart Dynasty basically said they’re fighting for Bret tonight. It was going to be Natalya’s singles debut on Raw. About damn time.

Natalya vs. Tamina ended in a No Contest (NR)
You all know that Natalya’s my favorite in ring performer amongst the divas in WWE. Tamina’s impressing me too especially because she doesn’t have that much experience. She makes it work, though. Her moves look good, she can sell well and she’s better than some of the girls that have been in WWE for several years. I guess being the daughter of a wrestler helps a lot. The NXT boys came out, they wanted peace, but Kidd jumped on them and eventually the Hart Dynasty got beat down by the NXT crew.

When they returned from a break, the seven NXT guys were in the ring. They all cut promos basically saying sorry for what they did and trying to explain their actions. What the hell kind of hair did Otunga have? It looked like it was spray painted on. Best part of this was Darren Young saying people thought he was the black John Cena. Can’t believe they said that on TV, but it’s true and funny. Barrett ended it by using the word Nexus, which is the rumored name of this group. Oh, he also gets his title shot at any PPV he so chooses. It was nice to hear them all get promo time. The crowd booed most of it, but were quiet for some parts too. I really wish Daniel Bryan was still around. They could use his credibility big time.

John Morrison d. Zack Ryder (*)
It was supposed to be Morrison vs. Dibiase. Ted didn’t want to wrestle since he had Maryse, who was looking FANTASTIC, so out came Ryder. The crowd was totally dead for this. No heat for Ryder. Barely any noise for Morrison. They used it as a chance to plug NXT a lot, but it was not a good showcase for the Tuesday show. Morrison won clean with Starship Pain, which was about the only thing to get a pop the whole match.

Check me out on Twitter at Twitter.com/johnreport and trust me it’s more entertaining than the next match. I was actually going to write a portion of this column in Cena’s Twitter language, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Maybe if I was drunk, CantoNation. Eww, that’s just wrong.

Eve & The Great Khali d. Alicia Fox & Primo (1/2*)
Primo works! And I think Eve actually connected on a dropkick! Good for her. The girls worked hard, but the crowd didn’t care too much. Khali finished Primo off rather easily at the 4 minute mark.

Randy Orton came out saying the NXT guys are big meanies, basically. He wants Barrett to win the belt because Orton will beat him for it. Way to make Orton look like a wimp by having him admit he can only win from the rookie. I’m only kidding. Miz came out as Lawler wondered why. I don’t know, King, maybe because he’s a heel and there’s a babyface in the ring. Can we please send King out to pasture? The tribe has spoken; it’s time for you to go. Miz talked about Orton always getting title shots. They brawled. Orton won the fight and went for a RKO, but Miz bailed. When Orton turned around I was expecting the NXT boys. Nope. It was Edge with a Spear. Edge says: “Now the real fun begins, Randy.” What does that mean? No idea. I guess that feud is continuing, though. I think Miz vs. Orton could be a lot of fun. We’ll probably see it later this year. If they were testing the waters I’d say Miz passed.

WWE Title: Sheamus vs. John Cena ended in a No Contest (**)
Vince was the ref outside the ring. Inside the ring was Jack Doane. They worked a physical match as they always seem to do with neither guy dominating for too much. It was more of a back and forth style. My feeling during the entire match was that the NXT boys were coming out for the interference. I was shocked that they went 14 minutes before that happened, though. The problem is after I watch the show and I’m sitting here trying to remember what happened during this match I totally forget because the ending angle is all that comes to mind. I do recall Sheamus hitting his KO kick. Cena nearly hit the AA, but never got around to it. I also recall a “vintage” by douchenozzle Cole when Cena hit his spinning sideslam move.

The NXT boys came out to end the match. Sheamus bailed through the crowd. Lawler & Cole bailed. They brought Cena out to the floor and dumped the announce table on him. Cena stayed there the rest of the show, which had to have been 5 minutes at least. We’re supposed to believe SuperCena stayed down that long after a styrofoam table was on him? I guess we are believing it. Vince brings them all into the ring. He thinks they’re on his side. Then they stare at him, but it’s only a joke. A “Daniel Bryan” chant started up although not as loud as at the PPV. No reaction from Vince. And then, of course, that’s when they turned on him. They beat the shit out of Vince. Skip hit a clothesline, Barrett hit his slam off the shoulders and Gabriel hit his lovely 450 splash. They left him lying in a heap as some in the crowd chanted “NXT! NXT” as if it had some cult following like ECW in the 90s. The show ended with a camera dude calling for help.

I liked the seriousness of what they did to Vince and how they went about doing it. However, the point remains from Sunday. Where’s the rest of the locker room showing solidarity against these thugs? Didn’t they cut a promo last week about how there would be unity against the NXT boys? So where are they this time? Did they actually believe their apologies? I don’t think I’m being picky by asking where they were, am I? Maybe I am. If so, I apologize. It’s just something that needs to be addressed more than they usually do. The cool thing to come of this is the question of whether or not the NXT crew had an ally in the GM? Maybe this person told them to attack Bret and Vince. I wonder who it could be? Triple H, perhaps? You never know. Lots of options. Could be nothing, though.

Three Stars of the Show
1. Chris Jericho – Nice match and promo.
2. Evan Bourne – Terrific match.
3. Darren Young saying that people called him the black John Cena. It’s great because it’s true. Look at the faces. It’s scary. I really don’t care for Young that much, to be honest. It was just a funny line.

Worst Moment of the Week
The email noises. At least they’re not partnered with AOL and we didn’t have to hear “you got mail” all night. I should add that with no Mark Henry or guest host on the show it made it tough to pick a worst moment of the night.

6.5 out of 10
Last week: 6.5

The show was slightly above average. The Jericho/Bourne match was very good, but none of the other matches did much for me especially with the non finishes. They did a good job of pushing the NXT angle although again where’s the resistance to them? I’m not sure where things are headed with the anonymous GM. As I said when they announced it, it’s important to have somebody making the decisions. Whether we know them or not matters little to me, to be honest. I’d rather the wrestlers get the screen time anyway.

Where was Santino? I missed him greatly.

Anybody miss the guest host? I sure didn’t. End the concept, WWE. It’s time.

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John Canton – john@thejohnreport.net
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