TNA Impact Report – 9/22/16
We start off with a look at last week when Matt Hardy challenged Decay to face them at Bound For Glory in…THE GREAT WAR! We also saw the brawl that broke out during the Bobby Lashley-Ethan Carter III press coference, and the subsequent fight between Lashley and Moose.
There’s only 10 nights to go before Bound For Glory as we head to the ring for our opening contest…
Grand Championship Tournament, Semifinals: Drew Galloway vs Eddie Edwards
This one looks tremendous on paper, let’s see what they do with their nine minutes. Feeling out process to start, Drew catches Eddie with a back elbow, but Eddie fires back and they trade shots. Drew tosses Eddie into the corner, then launches him across the ring with an overhead release suplex for 2. Eddie dodges a charge and chucks Drew to the apron, then big boots him to the floor and connects with a dive…almost. Drew catches him coming in and hits a tilt-a-whirl suplex onto the apron. Just about a minute left in the first round as Drew slumps Eddie across the apron and connects with a hard chop, then comes inside and covers for 2. Eddie gets a crucifix and a backslide for a pair of 2 counts, but Drew with a hard clothesline and then a series of rolling vertical suplexes, just dumping Eddie on the last one before covering for 2.
Bell rings to end the first round, and Drew wins the round 2-1. Eddie knocks Drew into next week with a clothesline as soon as the second round begins, then they trade chops, Eddie catches Drew on the second rope with an enziguiri and hits a super Frankensteiner for 2. Drew goes up for a superplex and Eddie knocks him backward into the Tree of Woe, but takes too long to capitalize and Drew hits a spider suplex. Drew sets up for the Claymore, but Eddie catches him coming in with the Boston Knee Party. Drew rolls right out to the floor before Eddie can go for a cover, so Eddie takes him out with a dive instead. Eddie slumps Drew over the barricade and then heads back into the ring to take Drew out with a second dive that drives him into the crowd as the second round ends.
The judges score the second round 2-1 for Eddie, so now we’re on to the third and final round, and Eddie unloads with chops until Drew boots Eddie in the face and covers him for 2. Drew with more hard chops and a running forearm in the corner, but Eddie rolls Drew into the Achilles Lock…almost, because Drew counters to the Iron Maiden, then Eddie counters to one of his own. Drew’s frame is too big and he easily slips out and goes for a Tombstone, but Eddie slips out and goes for the Achilles Lock again, but Drew boots his way out. Back to trading chops as we come down to a minute left in the match, still chopping at 45 seconds left, still chopping at 30 seconds left, and Drew headbutts Eddie and gives him an Awesome Bomb into the corner, Eddie counters with the Boston Knee Party, Drew hits the Future Shock and slowly makes a cover, but the referee only gets to 2 before the bell rings, though Eddie got the shoulder up at 2 anyway. Now it comes down to the judges, and we’ll find out their decision…after this break!
Okay, we’re back, and the winner by decision is…
Winner: Drew Galloway
Eddie looks frustrated on his way to the back, and Jeremy Borash asks Drew who he wants to face in the finals. Drew says that nothing has changed, he’s the same Drew Galloway who has always spoken his mind and done what he believes to be right. He was willing to fight on the front line until he figured out how this place really works. Much like American politics, the system in TNA is rigged to favor certain people, and the rules of this tournament will make sure that will never happen again. He hopes EC3 and Lashley have a great match, because they’ll never be able to follow Drew Galloway. Ethan Carter III comes out and tells Drew to tread lightly when mentioning his name. Drew says things always just work out for EC3, almost as if someone’s watching out for him in Nashville. He appreciates EC3’s redemption tour, but he thinks he’s going to lose to Lashley, and it’s okay because his buddy Drew will be there to save the day, and he’ll give him a title shot after he wins the Grand Championship. But in this kind of a match, EC3 will never last two rounds with Drew Galloway. EC3 tells Drew that he can’t even last two rounds in a verbal sparring match, and he will beat Drew anytime, anywhere. Now Bobby Lashley comes out and throws Drew a glance as he walks back him, and then Mike Bennett suddenly comes out of the crowd and jumps EC3 from behind, and the two of them lay a beating on EC3, with Lashley spearing EC3 into next week. Here comes Moose, taking Bennett down and attacking him, then going after Lashley and easily chucking him out to the floor. Bennett superkicks Moose and then Lashley spears him, and it looks like the babyfaces are in a bad way going into tonight’s main event.
Allie’s backstage making preparations for Maria’s big public workout, and Maria calls her stupid and asks if everything is ready. Allie says she’ll look so super amazing, but Maria doesn’t want to look so super amazing, she wants to send Gail a message that she’s the greatest Knockouts Champion ever, and everyone will see it tonight.
Aron Rex and Eli Drake talk about what the Grand Championship means to them.
Mike Bennett is backstage telling Lashley he’s his new best friend, but Lashley says he needs no friends because he’s unstoppable. Bennett knows Lashley is going to beat EC3 at Bound For Glory, and Bennett wants a title shot, but Lashley’s not happy that he’s eyeing his title and says to focus on tonight.
Grand Championship Tournament, Semifinals: Eli Drake vs Aron Rex
Eli Drake cuts a promo on Aron Rex and calls him a dummy, tells him not to get lost in the sauce, and says that if Rex gets too chatty and doesn’t watch his tongue, he’s gonna…well, I didn’t understand what he said, but it sounded cool. Rex says he could have eaten a bowl of Alpha Bits and crapped out better lines than Eli had in the time he took to say it. He’s going to tell the tale of Eli Drake, and says an out of work male stripper and a Muppet got together, and there he was nine months later. Okay.
We go to commercial, and the match begins when we come back. They quickly go to the mat, and stay there for the first half of the round. Rex picks things up and starts hammering Drake with right hands and headbutts, then hits a kneedrop for 2. Rex goes for another couple of covers, then Drake goes to the eyes, but Rex gets a spinebuster and goes for his submission finish when the bell rings.
Rex unanimously wins the first round, so we start round 2 with Rex taking Drake down and going right for his finish again. Drake slips out to the apron and snaps Rex’s neck down on the top rope, then jumps him from behind and hammers him with right hands. Drake goes for a cover and gets 2, then we hit the chinlock. Drake rams Rex into the corner and hits a Russian legsweep for 2. Rex counters a suplex attempt to a small package for 2, but Drake comes right back with the floatover DDT for 2. Drake goes for Blunt Force Trauma, Rex blocks, so Drake slams Rex and hits a big elbowdrop for 2. Drake keeps putting the boots to Rex and chokes him with his boot as the second round ends.
Drake wins the second round on a split decision, and goes right back after Rex as the third begins. Rex hits a roaring elbow out of nowhere and covers for the win.
Winner: Aron Rex
Gee, never would have expected Drew vs Rex in the finals. Good match.
Decay is backstage, and Abyss says the Great War will signify the destruction of everything the Hardys have built. Rosemary says Reby has revealed her true weakness, but Vanguard-1 shows up and projects a hologram of Senor Benjamin with the DELETE shovel, and he starts laughing. Abyss swats at Vanguard-1 as he flies away.
Aron Rex is backstage doing a postmatch promo when Drew Galloway comes up to him. He says he’s not here to fight, but they both have an opportunity, and Drew Galloway’s going to be the guy who takes advantage of it.
We see a video package of someone in a suit saying he’s learned a lot from his past, and he’s Bound For Glory! The mystery man gets in a convertible and we see it’s Cody Rhodes!
Decay comes out to the ring, and Rosemary’s freaking out and saying the Hardys don’t know what they’ve done, and they’re sick of their little games. The Great War will be the end of every last Hardy, FOREVER! The fans chant “DELETE!” at Abyss as he calls them sheep and tells them to shut up. Steve laughs and tells the Hardys that sending their mechanical animal after them is a welcome invitation because they don’t fear the Great War, they embrace it with open arms because, once the Great War is over and nature has taken its course, the zombie sheep and Matt’s broken brilliance will belong to DecayDecayDecay. Oh wait, Matt Hardy is in the crowd telling Decay that they exist in a BROKEN universe full of magic like Skarsgard the Dilapidated Boat, and for their sins, they must go to battle at THE GREAT WAR! With the entire world as their battlefield, he can bludgeon each of those demons AGIN and AGIN and AGIN and AGIN and AGIN and AGIN and AGIN until he DELETES his Tag Team Title reign! Matt leads the fans in a DELETE chant, then Brother Nero is on the other side of the building and says he’s embraced his fate of being BROKEN. At the Great War, they will twist Decay’s fate, Abyss will no longer be beautiful, Steve will no longer be CRAZZY, and Rosemary just won’t be rosy anymore. Jeff has a big laugh and says they’ll fade away and classify themselves as obsolete (OBSOLETE!). Rosemary says they don’t fear fate or anything because they are the death dealers, but Jeff has a good laugh at that. Rosemary says the Hardys are tempting fate because they’re outnumbered, and she tells them to bring their Great War because they’re not afraid, and the Hardys are Bound For DECAY! Hardy says that was a delightful fate, and the Seven Deities have informed him that they are Bound For Glory! The lights go out, and Steve and Abyss have both been strapped to the corners so Reby Sky, with new BROKEN hair and BROKEN outfit comes in and attacks Rosemary. Rosemary runs for her life, and Reby says the worst thing anyone can do is mess with a mother and her child. She wants Rosemary in the ring next week, and it’ll be her mother who is left without her baby. The Hardy clan starts leading the fans in DELETING at Decay.
Moose is backstage telling EC3 that he’s been a fighter his entire life and he’s going to whoop Lashley’s ass. EC3 knows it’s true, and he asks him what he’s going to do to Mike Bennett at Bound For Glory. Moose says he’s going to trash him, then tells EC3 that he beats up whoever he wants whenever he wants.
DJ Z comes out to the ring and says it means a lot to him to once again be the X Division Champion. He was very immature the first time he held the title, he didn’t appreciate what it meant, but he’s grown up a lot and things are going to be different now. He’ll be a fighting champion, and he’s looking for a fight right now, and issues an open challenge to whoever wants to try and take the title from him. Trevor Lee comes out, so here we go…
X Division Title Match: DJ Z vs Trevor Lee
Andrew Everett distracts DJ Z, allowing Lee to hit DJ Z from behind and Beell him across the ring. Lee has the advantage for a bit before DJ Z dumps him out to the floor onto Everett and wipes both of them out with a dive. They head back in where DJ Z hits a missile dropkick, a springboard elbow, and he kicks Everett to the floor when he tries to get involved, then backdrops Lee to the apron. Lee climbs the ropes, and DJ Z hits a top rope Frankensteiner and a rolling DDT for the win.
Winner: DJ Z
Everett attacks DJ Z after the match, then he and Trevor Lee put the boots to DJ Z until Eddie Edwards runs out to make the save. Eddie gets a mic and says he and DJ Z are buddies and DJ Z is what the X Division is all about, but if he’s a fighting champion, how about they face off for that title next week? DJ Z says he knows all the fans want to see it, and of course he accepts Eddie’s challenge!
Maria is backstage shadowboxing on Allie’s hands as Allie says she got the perfect opponent for Maria tonight. Maria says she hopes Allie didn’t screw that up too, and Allie says she didn’t mess up when she laid down for Maria to get her the Knockouts Title. Maria yells at her for thinking she deserves any credit for anything and tells her she’s stupid, then walks out as Allie looks sad.
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Maria comes out to the ring with Allie and Sienna, and Allie announces that this will be her public workout match. Maria yells at Allie for going on and on, and tells her to stand back because she’s in her camera shot. Maria tells Sienna that she deserves a title shot, not tonight, but she will get one because tonight is about her, she is Maria Kanellis, the Knockouts Champion, the leader of the Knockouts Division, and the greatest Knockouts Champion ever. Maria yells at Allie and tells her to turn around when the fans start chanting for her, then tells her to sit down. Maria wants to prove to Gail that she’s the greatest ever, and Allie says she did what Maria said and put an ad out, but not on Craigslist because you don’t want to make that mistake twice. Maria yells at her to call out the opponent, and it’s…well, Allie gets cut off by Maria before she gets to say who it is, and Maria shakes her hand and wishes her luck before attacking her. The bell rings, and we’re off for…
Maria Kanellis vs Mystery Female Jobber #3
Sienna and Allie are up on the apron and Sienna attacks the jobber behind the referee’s back, allowing Maria to unload with some punches and pin her.
Winner: Maria Kanellis
Maria tells Allie to get her the next opponent, and Allie says she didn’t because Maria told her to get her the easiest opponents, and Maria says she never said that and insists that she should fight her because she’s STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID! Some ninja lady comes out and Maria says that must be her next opponent, and Allie tries to tell her she didn’t arrange for this, but Maria shuts her up, and we’re off with…
Maria Kanellis vs Mystery Female Ninja Jobber #7
The ninja fires off a series of overexaggerated kicks at Maria, schoolgirls her, then throws more overexaggerated kicks. Maria goes and yells at Allie, who says she tried telling her that she didn’t set this up, and the ninja takes her mask off as Allie tells Maria this, and sure enough, it’s Gail Kim. Sienna runs in and attacksGail, but Gail lays her out with Eat DaFeet as Maria and Allie run up the ramp.
Another look at “Cody”, and then it’s MAIN EVENT TIME!
Ethan Carter III & Moose vs Bobby Lashley & Mike Bennett
Bennett runs to the floor, and EC3 and Moose double team Lashley and beat the snot out of him until he rolls to the floor and argues with Bennett as we go to commercial.
We’re back as Bennett hits an Ace Crusher on EC3, and Lashley tags in and rams shoulderblocks into EC3’s ribs. Bennett takes EC3 to the mat and gets a rear bearhug, EC3 fights his way out, and heel miscommunication leads to Bennett drilling Lashjley with a big right hand, allowing EC3 to make the hot tag. Moose comes in and runs Bennett over with a couple of shoulderblocks, then runs up to the top rope and hits Bennett with a crossbody. Lashley tries to break the cover, but Moose moves and Lashley elbowdrops Bennett, then Moose charges Lashley, and they both go out to the floor. Bennett goes for a TKO in the ring, but EC3 counters to a sunset flip for the win.
Winners: Ethan Carter III & Moose
Moose drags Bennett to the floor and beats the crap out of him all the way to the back, but Lashley jumps EC3 from behind in the ring. EC3 fights back, and security runs in and separates them. They fight security off and go back at each other, and X Division Security runs out to separate them again. Now TNA President Billy Corgan comes out and says it’s not going down like this, and since he’s a smart businessman, next week will be a special edition of Impact. He’ll raise the stakes for Bound For Glory, so next week, both EC3 and Lashley will captain a team in Lethal Lockdown, and the winner picks the stipulation for the main event of Bound For Glory.
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